Your partner says “you’re not listening” and you want to scream because you were listening — you just also heard the refrigerator, the neighbor’s dog, and a memory from third grade all at the same time.
Conditions We Treat
Relationship Issues
Your partner says “you’re not listening” and the bottom drops out of your stomach — not because they’re wrong, but because you were listening, and tracking the dishwasher, and bracing for the apology you can already feel coming. Loving someone and consistently showing up are two different skills when your brain keeps changing the channel.
Our Los Angeles relationship counseling is built for adults whose ADHD shows up between people — communication skills, RSD support, and couples-impact work in a group setting. Pasadena office, serving adults across the LA metro.
The reality
ADHD doesn’t just affect your to-do list. It affects your relationships in ways that are rarely named but deeply felt. You forget important dates not because you don’t care, but because your working memory dropped them. You zone out during conversations not because you’re not interested, but because your attention was hijacked by something you can’t control. You react intensely and then feel ashamed of the reaction, which makes the next conversation harder, which creates distance that neither of you know how to close. You are not a bad partner, friend, or family member. You are someone whose brain processes connection differently — and that difference can be understood and navigated.
Recognize the pattern
What this can feel like
You’ve apologized for the same thing so many times that the word “sorry” has lost all meaning, and you can feel the other person bracing for the next time you forget, interrupt, or disappear.
Emotional dysregulation turns a small disagreement into a four-alarm fire before you even realize the alarm went off. Twenty minutes later you’re calm, but the damage is done and you don’t know how to undo it.
You go quiet — not to punish anyone, but because you need time to process. Your partner reads the silence as coldness, and now there’s a second fight layered on top of the first one.
You’ve started avoiding certain topics or people because the effort of navigating them feels too heavy, and the avoidance is slowly turning into isolation you didn’t choose.
You watch other people’s relationships and wonder what invisible manual they were issued at birth that you apparently never received.
Our approach
How group therapy can help
A live laboratory
Relationships are the single most common reason adults with ADHD seek therapy, and group therapy offers something individual therapy cannot: a living laboratory where you can practice relational skills in real time with people who are also working on the same things. When you interrupt someone in group, you get gentle feedback immediately — not three days later from a frustrated partner who’s already built a case against you. When you notice yourself withdrawing, you can name it and get support for re-engaging, instead of disappearing into the pattern and hoping it resolves itself.
DBT skills, ADHD-shaped
We use DBT-based interpersonal effectiveness skills, adapted specifically for ADHD brains that struggle with impulse control, emotional intensity, and working memory. You’ll learn to communicate needs without apologizing for having them, to repair ruptures without spiraling into shame, and to recognize when your ADHD is driving the bus in a relational moment so you can make a different choice. The group also helps you untangle which relationship problems are truly yours to work on — and which ones belong to the other person’s expectations or a mismatch in communication styles that both sides can adjust.
Where you’re not the “difficult” one
Perhaps most importantly, group therapy gives you a community where you are not the “difficult” one. You are surrounded by adults who understand what it feels like to be told you’re too much, too intense, too forgetful, too scattered. In that environment, you start to rebuild a sense of yourself as someone who is capable of connection — not despite your ADHD, but alongside it. Our Los Angeles relationship counseling groups create space to heal the accumulated hurt of misunderstood interactions and build skills that translate directly to the relationships waiting at home.
Ready when you are
You don’t have to figure this out alone
If your relationships feel like a second full-time job you never applied for, and you’re tired of the cycle of rupture and repair, you deserve a place to understand what’s happening and learn how to change it. Come as you are — scattered, overwhelmed, hopeful, skeptical, all of it.
Common questions
Frequently asked questions
Is this couples therapy, or is it just for me?
This group is for individual adults with ADHD who want to improve their relationships. It is not couples therapy — your partner does not attend. We also offer couples counseling separately if you and your partner want to work together. Many people do both, and many find that the skills they learn in group dramatically improve their relationships even without their partner being in the room.
What if my partner doesn’t believe in therapy?
That’s common and it’s okay. You can attend group on your own and still see significant improvements in your relationships. The skills you learn — communication, emotional regulation, conflict repair — work unilaterally. When you change how you show up, the dynamic often shifts, even if the other person hasn’t changed.
Will I have to share private details about my relationship?
You share what feels right to you, when it feels right. Many members talk about patterns (e.g., “I shut down when I feel criticized”) without sharing specific private details about their partner or family. The facilitators are skilled at helping you work at the level of depth that serves you without pushing past your boundaries.
How is this different from regular relationship advice?
Regular relationship advice often assumes a neurotypical brain and ignores the specific ways ADHD affects communication, memory, emotional regulation, and follow-through. Our approach starts from the premise that your brain works differently, and builds relationship strategies that account for that difference rather than pretending it doesn’t exist.
